


I'm sorry

by prettyboyz



Series: because you've hurt me, i've been wounded [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, huge angst, i mustve been sad as heck when i wrote this christ, its JUST HUGE ANGST, its not that like DEATH but jkfdgskjdf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 11:17:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14543562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyboyz/pseuds/prettyboyz
Summary: i hope you enjoyed this [heartwrenching (sorry-)] series, i wrote it a few years back and was just moving it here but jfc fsjdnfksjdf





	I'm sorry

I rubbed my eyes sleepily, trying to focus my vision as the morning light came in through the window.

Did I fall asleep crying again? I thought, feeling my dry skin.

I did.

I guess everyone’s out eating breakfast already, since the room is empty..

Dragging myself out of bed I walked into the kitchen slowly and sat down at a random spot, wherever I found a chair.

Usually Luhan is already sitting next to  _him._

So there never really is an open chair next to Lu, ever. Its like Luhan was trained to avoid me at all costs.

I shook my head looking down at my hands, remembering how Luhan would hold them during our trainee days. Telling me I could do it.

Telling me we’ll debut soon.

Telling me he’s in love with m-

“Sehun?”

I looked up immediately, shocked.

That sweet voice..it has to be..

I looked to my right to see who was sitting next to me.

Wow, I haven’t been this close to Luhan in a while. He’s still…beautiful…

I stared at him, mesmerized.

I missed looking at him, like this, with love.

“Sehun?”

I snapped back to my senses.

Fear suddenly took over my emotions.

Oh no.

What if I’m sitting in Min- ugh….Seok’s seat? Does Luhan want me to move? Should I go sit somewhere else? Am I making him feel uncomfortable?

I looked down at the table to see my plate already have food placed on it.

But I never grabbed anything….Did Luha-

“Sehun, I put some food on your plate now hurry up and eat or it’s going to get cold!” Kyungsoo snapped.

Oh…

Then why was Luhan calling my nam-

“Sehun, hurry and eat we have schedule.” Luhan quickly recited those words, as if he just wanted to get his point across so he didn’t have to talk to me anymore.

I didn’t reply.

Not because I didn’t want to talk to him, or because I wanted to ignore Luhan.

But because I knew if I replied he wouldn’t say anything back, and I didn’t want to close off the conversation..if said deer decided to continue it.

Continue us.

But more words coming from his pretty lips,

Never came.

Curious, I looked around to see where  _he_ was sitting, since it obviously wasn’t next to Luhan.

He was sitting next to Jongdae.

Of course, I thought and began to eat.

“Sehun.” Jongin whispered in the dark hours of the night, waking me up from my slumber.

“What is it?” I turned to look at him, still keeping myself under the sheets.

“I need to tell you something.”

“Is it bad?”

“No.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“Luhan is going to talk to you about it.”

“What?” I sighed, “I thought you were going to say something serious ..” I started to get comfortable in bed again, when Jongin pulled them right off.

“I’m being serious.” Jongin whispered loudly clenching his teeth.

“Shush you’re whispering too loud. Besides, Luhan barely even talks to me, and if he were to talk to me, I’m one hundred percent positive he wouldn’t talk to me about that.”

Luhan was not going to tell me why he stopped talking to me.

Luhan was not going to tell me why he was hurting me.

Luhan wasn’t going to tell me anything.

“Well he is.”

“Oh yeah? When?”

“Tonight.”

“Sure.” I almost started to laugh at how ridiculous Jongin sounded at this moment.

He must be kidding me.

I got comfortable again as Jongin left the room and slept.

Warm…

Soft…

I snuggled closer to the warmth.

Suddenly, I felt fingers running themselves softly through my hair.

I leaned into the affection, feeling more relaxed and calm than I had ever been for the past two years.

“Sehun….”

That voice.

I carefully opened my eyes, afraid, afraid to face the reality.

But when I opened my eyes, I wasn’t alone.

You were there.

Stroking my hair, while holding me against you.

“I miss you…”

What?

I must be dreaming.

Finally, a good dream.

“Luhan…” I replied, pulling him closer.

This warmth feels so real.

“Sehun..”

His voice, it sounded shaky, it sounded like he was crying.

No..

I lifted my hands up to his cheeks to feel his face for any tears.

He was..

My beautiful angel was crying.

I wiped away his tears carefully. Not wanting to hurt my fragile pair.

“I’m sorry Sehun.”

Luhan finally said, after, what felt like an hour.

“Sorry?” I asked.

“Sehun I’m sorry.”

I just held him tighter.

“I lied to you Sehun.”

No…

“I fell in love with Minseok, Sehun, I lied when I told you there was no one else Sehun.”

No…Luhan…

I didn’t want to hear this, not from Luhan.

Not ever.

So much for a good dream.

I closed my eyes tightly trying to wake myself up.

However, my attempts were not working.

I guess Jongin was being serious.

“I’m sorry I thought you were too immature to handle it Sehun.”

Stop…

“I’m sorry I thought you were too young.”

Stop it..

“I’m sorry that I looked at you as a kid and didn’t believe you could actually love me. I’m sorry I kept hurting you, Sehun I-”

“Luhan, stop.”

And he stopped.

“Is that really the reason? You thought I couldn’t take care of you?”

Luhan nodded slowly.

All of that suffering…and wanting…for this…?

“Oh.” Was all I said.

“I’m sorry Sehun..I was so…stupid..”

“Don’t call yourself stupid.” I spoke sternly. “Don’t you ever put yourself down again.”

“Sehun…”

“Why don’t you go over to cry on..” and I took a deep breathe, “Minseok? He is your boyfriend after all. The one you’re dating, the one you hold hands with, and kiss.” He is the one you hurt me with, after all.

“But Sehun I-”

“Hyung, had you really wanted me, and trusted me, you would’ve chosen me over Minseok a long time ago…”

Luhan didn’t respond and looked down.

“I’m not going to say I’m not still deeply in love with you, but I am going to tell you it’s time for us to let go of each other now. You don’t want to hurt Minseok the way you hurt me do you..?” I cupped his face, making him look at me. I shouldn’t have said that but..I wanted Luhan to know how I felt.

“I’m sure he misses your warmth you should go to him now, you chose him after all.”

I’m being immature.

I’m hurting him on purpose.

I wish I didn’t have to be this way, but I was hurt.

It was as if Luhan stabbed me with a sword, pulled it out, only to stick it back in.

“He’s lucky he has you to cuddle with during the night, you don’t want him to feel alone like you made me feel so please, don’t hurt anyone else, and just go.” I finally finished.

I didn’t want to steal away anyone’s lover.

I didn’t want to hurt Minseok as much as I had hated him before, because it’s different now.

It wasn’t Minseok who stole Luhan from me it was Luhan who chose Minseok.

Luhan wasn’t saying anything now, but I could feel his tears running down his cheeks.

I wiped them away, kissed his forehead, and told him I loved him.

“But this is the end of our love.” I whispered.

 _This is the end_ ,

 ** _of us_**.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this [heartwrenching (sorry-)] series, i wrote it a few years back and was just moving it here but jfc fsjdnfksjdf


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